When I Fell in Love with Boudoir – A Self Love Journey
I got into boudoir photography for all the wrong reasons. It wasn’t love at first sight. It wasn’t right away. But when it clicked, it was transformative.
It wasn’t love at first sight.
I did not fall in love with boudoir at first sight.
In fact, I resisted it.
The first time I saw boudoir photographs, I was eighteen. It was the nineties. A family I babysat for had portraits displayed in their bedroom — red satin, pearls, painted backdrop, that unmistakable soft-focus glow. It felt staged. Performative. Almost like a costume someone was trying on.
I remember thinking, Why would anyone want photos like that?
Fast forward a few years…
Years later, one of our brides asked for a boudoir session as a wedding gift. Jeff and I photographed it together. The images were beautiful. Intimate. She glowed when she saw them.
But still, something in me held back.
I believed boudoir was for women who already felt sexy. Women who were thin, young, effortless. I didn’t see myself that way. I didn’t think I belonged in front of that lens, and I quietly assumed other women must feel the same.
For years, we photographed one or two boudoir sessions annually. I learned the craft. I could pose. I could light. I could deliver images clients loved.
But it felt like speaking a language I hadn’t yet become fluent in.
When It All Changed
Then came a January when I offered Valentine’s boudoir sessions to fill a slow wedding season.
It was practical. Strategic. A business decision. All the wrong reasons, really.
And it shattered everything I thought I knew about boudoir photography.
In one day, I photographed seven women. By the end of that month, twelve. More than I had photographed in my entire career combined.
And in those sessions, I stepped into each woman's private world; her innermost thoughts; her story.
A woman who had lost herself while caring for an ill husband, trying to remember who she was beneath the weight of survival.
A woman learning to love her body again after nearly losing her life.
A cancer survivor.
An abuse survivor.
A mother navigating a body that had given life and no longer felt familiar.
A woman celebrating weight loss, and another who hadn’t lost a single pound but was tired of waiting to feel worthy.
A bride standing on the edge of a new beginning.
The Power of Self Love
Every one of these beautiful women had a story to tell, and every one of them was fighting to love themselves despite their (perceived) physical flaws. Together, we laughed. We cried. We hugged. We talked about the power and importance of self love and self acceptance.
We held space for things that had never been spoken out loud.
And somewhere in that month, something inside me shifted.
Boudoir Is Not About Sexy Bodies
It is about coming home to yourself.
Every woman who stepped in front of my lens thought she was the exception. The one who didn’t quite measure up. The one who needed to fix something first.
And every single one of them was wrong.
Boudoir stopped being about lingerie... or posing... or even photography.
It became about permission.
Permission to be seen without apology.
Permission to feel powerful in a body that has survived things.
Permission to stop waiting for “someday” and exist fully in the now.
I fell in love with boudoir the moment it stopped being about creating sexy images and started being about witnessing transformation.
Less about performing beauty, and more about recognizing it.
Less about sex, and more about what makes each woman sexy.
You Are Not a “Before” Photo
If you are telling yourself:
“I’ll do boudoir when I lose weight.”
“When my stretch marks fade.”
“When I feel more confident.”
“When I’m finally ______ enough.”
I want you to hear this gently:
You are not a before photo. You are not a project. You are not a body waiting to be improved.
Boudoir is not a reward you earn at the end of self-love.
It is sometimes the beginning of it.
The women who changed me did not arrive perfect. They arrived brave. And that bravery — that willingness to be seen in the middle of their journey — is what made the images powerful.
That is when I fell in love with boudoir.
If You’re Ready
Imagine what your life might look like if you stopped postponing self-acceptance.
If you’re ready for a boudoir experience that honors your story — your scars, your softness, your strength — I would be honored to create it with you.
You are enough.
Not later.
Now.
